A palliative nurse who has counseled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. Bronnie Ware is an Austrailian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called the Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
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3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I work with people that are doing their estate planning, because they want to ensure that things are settled smoothly after they pass away, but this book helped me to see that, while planning for taxes and death is a great thing, we should not forget to enjoy ourselves and our loved ones while we are alive.